SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
