It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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