I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
