either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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