i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
