We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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