i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We need to get me chipped asap
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize