some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
