ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
