We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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