I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I CAN MOONWALK!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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