.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
