How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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