if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
