the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
