So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize