You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
