If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
