We need to rekindle our bromance
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
