So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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