Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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