So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
