you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
