you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
