I must be too annoying 4 u.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
