I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize