What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
