All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Randomize
