ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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