when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
