Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
