bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Enjoy the penises
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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