are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Randomize
