Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
