I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Randomize
