i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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