love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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