pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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