Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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