I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
