its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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