My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
