its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
