I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
