I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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