Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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