I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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