I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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