forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
