either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize