Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
smell my finger.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
