Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
