It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
