Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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