note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
