you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
