This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
