Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
