where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
