there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
