I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
