Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
