I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
