yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
