highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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