wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize